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Things You Will Never Experience

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Upon dying in Quantum Conundrum the player is greeted with one of a list of Things You Will Never Experience, having died. Many of them are based on the fact that the protagonist is a child. After viewing the message the player respawns at the most recent checkpoint.

ListEdit

Number Message
5 Not peaking at ten.
6 Eating a whole bucket of fried chicken.
12 Finding true love.
13 Voting for the wrong guy.
14 Riding a bus.
15 Learning from the fatal mistake you just made.
16 First chest hair.
17 First speeding ticket.
19 Eating a meal directly from the can.
20 Not failing.
21 Winning the lottery (but let's face it, that was pretty unlikely anyhow).
22 Graduating high school.
23 Accomplishing your dreams. (Unless your dream was dying alone in a mansion, in which case - good job.)
24 Sharing your first kiss.
29 Going to an awkward high school reunion.
31 Complaining about how life used to be better, and kids these days "just don't get it."
33 Figuring out where your uncle is.
34 Wearing sweatpants for 4 weeks straight.
35 Finding that perfect ironic t-shirt.
39 Defaulting on a mortgage.
40 Lying about your weight (to others).
41 Lying about your weight (to yourself).
45 Growing beyond 4'0".
46 Realizing that canned whipped cream is, indeed, a meal.
49 Being better at this sort of thing than you are right now. Actually, being better at absolutely anything than you are RIGHT NOW. Or, were.
50 Calling in "sick."
51 Something really neat that you don't even know about, because you're dead.
53 Getting to da choppa.
54 Learning to whittle.
55 Earning, then ignoring, the right to vote.
56 Learning to whistle.
65 Learning to read (we can assume).
67 Learning to ride a bike (hey, based on your skill here, I'm just assuming).
70 Writing a college entrance essay and desperately hoping you're as good as 45,000 other applicants.
72 Having a beard.
73 Accidentally hitting "Reply: All."
74 Watching your favorite childhood TV shows getting turned into horrible movies.
75 Getting past this level with one less death.
76 Getting caught using a fake ID.
78 Discovering that good friends are what life's all about.
79 Outliving... oh, just about anything.
80 Learning to identify things that will, in fact, kill you.
87 Becoming disillusioned with life.
89 Having a vocabulary of more than ten words.
91 Getting old enough to... wait... Hold on, I'll remember it...
96 Backpacking through Europe.
100 Eating two entire cakes.
101 Gazing at the stars and getting that "really small" feeling.
102 Building a mansion that some kid gets stuck in.
104 Looking back on this and laughing.
105 First awkward date.
106 The ridiculous price of college tuition in seven years (seriously, for a state school it'll be like $95,000).
109 Shaving a beard.
110 Winning the Kentucky Derby.
111 Outgrowing a favorite sweater.
112 Going to graduate school to avoid the real world.
118 Mistaking wasabi for guacamole.
120 Seeing an R rated film.
137 Doing Vegas.
138 Forgetting where you put your keys.
141 Pretending to enjoy classical music.
183 Keeping up with current events just so you know what to be outraged about.
188 Moving out.
204 Riding a dinosaur.
210 Preferably, improving your reflexes.
212 Judging others for their choice of transportation.
213 Judging others based on income.
218 Purchasing flat-packed plywood furniture.
228 Awkwardly ignoring a person holding a petition.
231 Realizing you're horribly out of style.
235 First tax audit.
251 Putting the empty milk carton right back in the fridge.
252 Watching something you experienced the first time become retro.
256 Discovering what's in the safe.
257 Welcoming our robot overlords (just covering all contingencies).
275 Being marginally successful at paying your bills on time.
276 Learning to drive.
277 Getting over a bad haircut.
278 The itchy stubble of trying - but failing - to grow a beard.
287 Getting a divorce.
308 Shaving a llama.
335 Realizing that you are 40 and alone and really need to get out more.
344 Writing a series of depressing comments for a video game.
354 Telling all your friends about "that one time I didn't die in a mansion."
356 Lying on your taxes (but only a little bit.)
357 Growing old enough to realize that you are not special.
358 Feeling the crisp air of a new spring day.
377 Having a mid-life crisis.
387 Getting married.
451 Stating that "the book was better than the film."
452 Your first overdraft fee.
454 Being able to reach the sink.
456 Employing your first housekeeper.
457 Firing your first housekeeper.
458 Hearing your favorite song become elevator music.
465 Learning to follow safety instructions.
467 Learning the difference between Tall, Venti, and Grande.
475 Falling in love.
501 Your first car.
524 Forgetting an anniversary.
547 Crashing the family car.
548 Live long enough to complain about the lack of flying cars.
555 Avoiding the dentist.
556 Rising auto insurance premiums purely based on geographic zoning.
557 Rediscovering your childhood (one that doesn't involve being dead).
566 Changing your major in college for the third time.
605 Buying a house.
657 Accomplishing your dreams.
678 Failing your way into middle management.
679 Finding yourself.
718 Being angry that your parents "just don't understand."
721 Eating cereal for breakfast, lunch, and dinner for months on end.
725 Waiting for the cable guy.
781 Willingly accepting an unpaid internship.
788 Watching those cable channels you're not supposed to see.
796 Finding out what's beyond the next door (because it's really cool, and you don't get to know now).
818 Complaining about public schools.
82 Complaining about politics you only vaguely understand.
825 Eating ramen for three months straight.
855 Feeling bad about not going outside... but not leaving the house anyways.
875 Feeling the sting of going dateless to the Prom.
881 Becoming nostalgic about things that were only mediocre at best.
890 Using a fake ID.
892 The social pressure of knowing which bands are right to like.
968 Socks with sandals.
985 Having your wisdom teeth pulled.
987 Correcting the mistakes that got you here.
99 Eating an entire cake.
990 The zombie apocalypse (maybe this is for the best).
1,051 Denying a homeless person the spare change that you really do have.
90,245 Eventually dying of unrelated causes many, many years from now, content in your old age.

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